Tomorrow is the day.

Back in November, I posted about how, I had gone in for an ultrasound, because blood was in my urine when I went in for some standard blood/urine tests, for a health care course I was set to take.
Additional urine tests I had, also showed the same result, but with no bladder infection, which can also show blood in the urine, weather microscopic or visible.
The scan was to see if there was any tumors, or problems in the urinary tract.
Well the scan showed nothing, but then I was told to go for a urine cytology. You can read what that is here. My doctor specifically mentioned bladder cancer, but I realize there are a whole lot of other diseases, that this test can detect.
I put that off until the new year. I just didn't want to think about it anymore.
I have spent way too many days worrying about this, I guess I am at the point now that nothing would really surprise me. For the first month of this going on, I could think of nothing else. I imagined what life would be, having to need Chemotherapy, numerous trips to the doctor, and having to have an ileostomy bag. I guess you could say I think of the worst case scenario. I do.
I've read all I could find about bladder cancer. I will tell you the one thing I have discovered though looking for information, was that bladder cancer, is not an old person disease. And alot of those people were not non-smokers either. And many led healthy lifestyles. So I guess we're all a potential victim of this disease.
As for the rest of whatever could be causing this, I haven't read up on any of those, although I have a feeling I will be doing that soon.
 For a year I have dealt with a sort of urine incontinence, and pain in the lower back at times, and now and then, night sweats. I assumed the first thing was an age thing, the back pain was age, and the night sweats I wasn't sure of as I know, and as the doctor has told me, it is not pre-menopause. I guess I can wait a bit longer to find out what the problem could be.
In the meantime, I cannot start my course, and honestly I am a bit hesitant to look too forward to the far off future.
So I do my test tomorrow, and will drop it off to the lab later in the day.
It takes a few days to get the results back, so that will be next week.
Until then, I will continue to do as I have been, keeping busy, and enjoying the beauty of the everyday things that happen.

Prozac for PMS

I know I am not alone, with my suffering of pms. I am not sure of the statistics, but I am quite sure most woman suffer from this to some degree, throughout their lives, if not all through their childbearing years. The physically and mental effects can be debilitating to some. A more severe form is PMDD.
With me personally, I have mostly, dealt with on the lessor end, tiredness and fatigue, and minor crankiness, mostly.

It was only after I had my last child at age 35, when I noticed "it" seemed to get worse. Both physically and emotionally. Now looking back I can maybe attribute that to having 4 children of all different ages and being overwhelmed by it all. That certainly could be the case. If we could all just go into hiding for 7-10 days leading up to "her" arrival, then not only would we as women, have an easier time dealing with these emotions, but those around us would be "safe" as well. lol
The last year for me has been the worst yet! For the last few years,(the past year be the worst),  I have been able to almost to the second(seriously), pinpoint, when my hormones are shifting. It's like you're a volcano and you can feel yourself starting to slowly boil, until you feel you're going to erupt! Heaven help those around then!

For 2 weeks in my life, I am normal. Well, I think I am anyway, lol For the other 2, watch out. I learned how to cope though. For those 2 weeks, stay in the house, make the kids stay in their rooms (with a warning), turn the phone off, send your kids to the grocery store for you, or order online, delete your face book account (in order to avoid those drama queens, that think their lack of a date this week, is a major crisis), avoid anything that may upset you, and basically become a hermit! For those of you who work outside the home, your screwed I guess!

 I have lived like this at various times! Well, I've never made my kids grocery shop or stay in their room, but I have done the rest.

It's worse when you realize your body is going through normal(HA!) changes, rather then be clueless as to the reason you feel shitty. And some women (and men) are too quick to say, bad mood, must be pms-ing.
Pms is real! And it does effect lives.

This past winter, I made it my mission to try to fix my problem.
Not having a family doctor, I had to go to a clinic to get a referral to a gynecologist. It took 8 months until I could get an appointment! During this wait time, I seriously wondered how I would survive.

One night about a month ago, I discovered while having a few drinks by myself (during pms), after a recent break-up, how drinking,  and pms to not go together. I ended up feeling more depressed then ever. It was a terrifying moment for me, that feeling of severe hopelessness in my life. I haven't drank since, btw.
Good news though. My appointment was a few days ago. he doctor prescribed a low dose of prozac (20 mg). I am hopeful this will work. I have taken prozac before, during a pregnancy for OCD. And it worked great for me at that time.

I also have a new family doctor now, I met this new doctor while at my appointment, and he agreed to take me on as a patient. :)

So along with a  doctor for my family, I now feel I have hope for my future.

To anyone suffering from PMS, please talk to a doctor. No-one should have to live, with the effects of  PMS.

this is not medical advice, just my own opinion and experience